Being Disorganized - A serious afliction

After a lengthy conversation about something I forgot to do

Mom: You are so disorganized! What did I ever do to deserve such a disorganized child?!?

Me: *trying to lighten the mood* At least I'm not an alcoholic :)

Mom: You know, there are some very smart, organized, and high functioning alcoholics.

Me: Their organization skills are not a result of their addiction....

Mom: I know, they just got very lucky

Me: *rolls eyes* That's a matter of perspective


Moral of the story: Organization is a highly important skill that can help one overcome any situation. AKA I can't be an alcoholic because I would be bad at it :P

Candy Crush promotes integrity.... WHO KNEW?

*Mom is playing Candy Crush while we are watching a TV show* 

Mom: *looses her game* Damn it!

Me: *watching over her shoulder* Let me play for you! I'll pass that level for you.

Mom: *Disapproving tone* That's CHEATING!

Me: Mom it's a game....

Mom: But I play against my FRIENDS, its unfair if the score I get isn't mine, they work hard for their scores!

Me: So you have no problem bribing people in Vegas, but Candy Crush requires integrity?

Mom: I don't care about the hotel system in Vegas, but I care about my friends and their Candy Crush achievements.

Me: OK then...

Mom: Don't be that person who cheats at games, games are meant to be fun and honest, life isn't.

CANDY CRUSH: PROMOTING INTEGRITY AND HONESTY

being polite vs psychological warfare

*My mom and I are on the ferry coming back from the Island (where she so kindly supported me at an even I had to attend) to the mainland*

It is a late night ferry, and where we are sitting, its us, a sleeping man and a young woman who is a couple rows away.

The entire time, this girl's phone was beeping, whistling, and ringing. She had the volume on her iPhone on FULL, i could hear her texting,  the text being sent, her receiving texts, her message alerts, and her VERY LOUD phone calls.

me: *Trying to ------------------------------------>, because its late and I'm tiered*

Girl: *whistle* *tap tap tap* *ping ping* *RIIIIIIING* Hi! Yeah I'm on the ferry! NO! Just don't pick up his calls! blablablablabla

*once again, this is a late night ferry*

me:  *then as this continues* I am going to go tell her to turn her phone on silent!

MOM: NO We need to teach her a lesson! ENGAGE PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE*Turns on her full phone sound and plays candy crush, WITH FULL SOUND*

Girl: *starts talking louder, and when she hangs up, she is still texting around 10 people and getting annoying pings every 20 seconds*

MOM: *Gives girl a disapproving look, then turns on Russian Music*

Girl: *Rolls eyes and leaves*

Me: You know mom, asking her nicely would have worked better, it would have been more polite

Mom: well see this is why I raised you right, you would never to what I did, nor what she did :D I'm a good mom!

Me: The very best! *Falls asleep*

I'm singing in the GAHHHH HELP!

me: *singing in the shower* I set fiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrre to the rain!

* mom comes in to bathroom to grab her hairbrush, I do not hear her come in*

mom: *starts singing to Adele tune* Don't forget tooooooooooooo clean the DRAIN!

me: *heart attack*

I have previously mentioned that most of our conversations are in Russian, but seeing as we live in Canada we speak English among ourselves too.

Good intentions

My mom on good intentions, implying that information is revealed on a need to know basis:

Mom: Just because your heart is in the right place doesn't mean your brain can take a field-trip!

This after I tried to cheer a family friend up with a humorous story about my grandfather, which portrayed him in a comical light.