Skydiving is practice suicide? ...

Me: My friends found a really great Group-on for Skydiving! I think we are going to get it.

Mom: WHY WHY! Tell me WHY do you want to PRACTICE COMMITTING SUICIDE?!?!?!?!?!

Me: Its not practice suicide!

Mom: YES IT IS! NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT! DON'T GIVE ME THESE HEART ATTACKS!

Grandma vs. Logos

I went shopping and bought new pants

Grandma: Annette, there's a stain on your pants.

Me: oh no that's the logo

Grandma:   It looks like a stain....

Me: Its a PUMA! I've wanted these pants for such a long time, please don't insult the....

Grandma: Why did you want pants that look like they have a stain? I'm not insulting the pants ... but your fashion sense needs improvement.

Me:  :(